Sometimes it takes getting into a relationship to realize how wonderful it is to be single. Being single can feel lonely and miserable and fill you with longing for a different life. Relationships are difficult, complicated and wonderful things. The can enrich your life but they can also make you see that you were doing that single thing all wrong.
If only you could go back in time and tell yourself that it is okay to be single! It might be too late for some of you but for the rest, read on.
Here are 10 things women in relationships wish they could tell their single selves:
1. Finding a romantic partner is only one of many goals you can work toward. It can be a priority without becoming an obsession. You can still work toward that end while working on other things.
2. When you like a guy, and your mutual friends have multiple anecdotes about him projectile vomiting after excessive drinking, you need to rethink the infatuation. No one needs man who will go all Linda Blair from the Exorcist at the end of a fun night. Seriously.
3. It’s not about getting someone to think you’re good enough for them. It is about finding someone you can spend a ridiculous amount of time with. It is more about finding someone to fit and piece together with you. It is not about trying to be who someone else wants you to be.
4. Work on your gaydar. Makes things much easier.
5. Sometimes boyfriends have little annoying habits. We all have them. It is part of our charm. But when the habits lead to disrespectful behaviour, it is time to think twice. If you wouldn’t let a guy treat your friend that way, don’t let him treat you that way.
6. If you’re bored out of your mind at the local bar on Saturday night, you’re probably not going to meet anyone there who’s going to liven up your evening. Instead of pounding another drink to relieve your boredom, think of some place else you can go next weekend. If your friends don’t want to go, go anyway.
7. Stop worrying about potential paramours rejecting you for being too fat, too short, too whatever.Sometimes people aren’t the right fight. Maybe you would have rejected them for something equally silly. The sooner you get rid of the wrong ones, the sooner you can find the right one.
8. Go to the movies by yourself. Same for galleries, museums and parks. When you are a couple, you will miss that time you had to just follow your fancy and grow yourself.
9. A first date is not an audition for marriage. A wedding does not usually follow a first date. A second date does. No one can fall in love while analyzing every little detail. First dates can be awkward. Don’t knock yourself out with the pressure.
10. If a man says that he’s too damaged for you (or too neurotic, or too anything), just take his word for it. It may just be his way of saying he’s not feeling the relationship. A twist on the classic, “it’s not you, it’s me.” But even if it isn’t, you won’t be able to fix him. His low self-esteem may prevent him from being truly open and present in your relationship.
If you could go back in time and give your younger self some dating advice, what would it be?
Source: Self
